Break


Moving back home with your parents

SO three years have come and gone and you’re now faced not only with the prospect of returning home, but moving back in with mum and dad. Anxious much? Gabriella Ariffin gets three grads to spill the beans on how they’ve adjusted to living with the parents. 

Bangkok-Thailand

Jack Thongkrua, 23, Thailand

What made you decide to move back in with your parents?

After I had been overseas, I was missing my parents so much and really wanted to stay with them.

How do you feel living with your parents again?

I received a warm welcome when I moved back home on that day.

Actually I feel that it’s comfortable because in the morning you will see mom wake you up, have breakfast and leave home together; dad will pick you up, have dinner and watch TV together.

Are there benefits to staying with the folks?

Clearly, I can save more money. My parents will pay some of my spending and sometimes my dad will drive me to wherever I want. It would be more expensive if I have to pay by myself.

What are some of the problems you’ve faced living with your parents?

Seeing each other every day also means that arguments would happen more easily daily too – like mom would call me to come home early for dinner, but I want to hang out with friends, or I want to stay in my room but my dad would call me to help him to do some work.

For me, emotions are a very difficult thing to handle and take care of. I always get upset and disappointed with my parents, but then after awhile I will realise I am in the wrong.

I have to be more patient and think that maybe I’m the one at fault, or I just need to be calm.

What tips could you give to other graduate students who soon will move back in with their parents?

Don’t worry too much about the generation gap, but you still need to try hard to understand their love and care for you.

Singapore

Louis Cheong, 26, Singapore

What made you decide to move back in with your parents?

Singapore is a small place so living apart for geological advantage doesn’t apply. So why not go back to where I’ve lived before?

I guess my parents would be more surprised if I chose otherwise.

How do you feel living with your parents again?

After years of living abroad, the sense of freedom is more or less embedded into my character. It is quite hard to find myself having to report to my parents about me going out or returning home late.

Are there benefits to staying with the folks?

Saving on rentals, groceries, and even laundry…

What are some of the problems you’ve faced living with your parents?

The constant nagging. Turning a deaf ear is not as easy as it’s been said.

What tips could you give to other graduate students who soon will move back in with their parents?

Compromise.

KL-Malaysia

Anonymous, 26, Malaysia 

What made you decide to move back in with your parents?

It was not really a decision. I moved back because I finished here and it was just easy to move in with my parents at first. I thought I would move in and then find my own place, but I have been there one year and it hasn’t happened yet. It was an easy choice and convenient. I contribute to the place but not as much as if I would rent my own place.

How do you feel living with your parents again?

One of the main things I worried about moving back to KL was living with my parents again. I thought it was going to be really strange. But initially it was okay because most of the time I work and come back at night so I didn’t see them much. But I feel I want to be independent.

They give me more freedom then when I was younger but they’re still my parents and sometimes still checking on me.

Are there benefits to staying with the folks?

It’s really convenient because they prepare everything and it’s definitely cheaper than renting your own place.

What are some of the problems you’ve faced living with your parents?

I probably quarrel with my mother a lot. Because it’s sort of like reverting back to who you are when you were younger and living with your parents. When you go away you feel like you have grown up and then you go back and it’s the same thing again. Sometimes my mother also nags a lot and treats me like a child.

What tips or advice would you give to other graduate students who soon will move back in with their parents?

I think my parents did understand a bit that I am older and they give me some respect. But I know for some of my others friends its more difficult. To some of them, their parents still expect them to be home for dinner. I think you have to realise that for you, you might feel that you have changed, but for your parents, they still see you as the same. So you have to communicate with your parents like “Okay I’m living here with you again but I have changed and [I’m] older now”. I feel that you also have to contribute to the house so that at least they can respect your privacy because you are renting your own room.

2 total comments on this postSubmit yours
  1. I’m living on my own now and it’s great! I can’t imagine to return to my parents and treats each other the same way we did before. You’re right that when you find your place outside you grow up and an initial conversation when you’re back is a must! Greetings!

  2. It is really sad that many people don’t have a choice and after they graduate they move back with their parents! It definitely will be a bit strange to learn to live together again. Thanks for the post! Best regards, London Removals Ltd.

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