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Wrapped and rhymed: Last minute gifts under $30

Meld Magazine

Thu Dec 22 2011

Christmas gift ideas

‘TWAS a few days before Christmas… and you still haven’t done your Christmas shopping, have you? Don’t stress! Sarah Soh comes to the rescue with a ditty of budget gift ideas.

‘TWAS a few days before Christmas
And all through the house
A lone creature was stirring
Clicking desperately at her mouse.
See, she’s left her gift-buying
To the very last minute.
Each shelf of Target, she found
Was bare with few presents on it.
But wait, a Saviour appears
On her screen, in the form of two digits.
“It is I, 30 dollars,” he booms,
“I promise you won’t go over budget.
“Presents for Mum,
Presents for Dad,
Presents for Jack
And a cute hat for your cat!
“Try a Nerf gun for your recalcitrant brother
Or a canvas tote bag for your enviro-conscious sister.
Mother might like these luxury towels embossed with her name,
Father might like a getaway from the ol’ ball and chain.
“Your bookish nephew may want this chessboard piece,
Or this super chic Barbie doll for your fashionista niece.
The Boyfriend might appreciate this carafe of fine wine
(Er, perhaps for your girlfriend, if you’re so inclined?)
“Now click through this page
Then enter your deets
Click once more to Paypal.
Voilà, Christmas shopping complete!
“And for all this hard work,
Reward yourself, you must.
So kick back, relax, enjoy yourself,
As I wrap up this task.”
Then with a flash and bang and a really loud whistle,
The screen started to shake and rumble and fizzle.
Thirty dollars dissolved back into cyberspace,
Leaving just a fistful of receipts, printed out, in his place.”
Merry Christmas from the Meld Team and have a happy and safe New Year!