Working the courage to ask someone out can be hugely nerve wracking but also wonderful at the same time. From the moment you ask them to then planning the actual date and envisioning how it will turn out, a first date with anyone is definitely a big deal!
We spoke to international students to share some of their best (or worst!) first dates. Learn from them how best to break that question to your crush and avoid the mistakes some of these students made in asking.
Chinese student Samuel Lv spoke about how he had to sleuth around a little before asking the girl out on a first date.
“I confirmed with them that I might have a chance, I made several plans in my head— what to talk about, where to go to and when to ask. I eventually asked her out after school one day, when we were chatting about movies,” he said.
He also unintentionally had his first date on Valentine’s Day and was totally unprepared.
“She gave me some chocolate but I didn’t prepare anything for her, and this was the one thing I regretted,” he said.
Samuel’s advice to others? Be yourself and “have your ideas expressed clearly to them”. He also suggests maximising face-to-face interaction although phone messages or little notes also works well.
“I walked around my room in circles while I waited for the reply.”
Marcus Lu, however, did the exact opposite, asking a guy he met through a networking site out through text. He kept the conversation casual to lead up to the question, making sure that the guy did not feel uncomfortable.
“The way I word[ed] the question made me seem chilled, but I was actually very nervous — I walked around my room in circles while I waited for the reply,” he said.
He also emphasised not taking rejection too personally and that there are always others out there.
Malaysian student Laura Ong, on the other hand, did not have a good experience asking someone out on a first date. Wanting to visit the pink lake at Westgate Park with him, she called when he had not responded to her text message.
“He answered my call and told me he was actually having class. I felt embarrassed after that. I should have thought about his schedule for the day, and the chances of him not being able to answer me immediately,” she said.
For other eager first timers, she suggests putting some consideration into the other person’s situation when asking them out.
Not only is timing and method important when you ask someone out, but also location. The place you choose will set the tone and provide ambiance.
“I was a little bit nervous at first, but as the talk went on, the nervousness disappeared.”
Shirley Teo, a Singaporean student had her first date inside a library because both her and her partner really liked books.
Similar to Marcus’ approach, she kept the conversation casual and asked him out during lunch time.
“I was a little bit nervous at first, but as the talk went on, the nervousness disappeared,” she explained.
She suggested spending time talking about common interests to build a friendship before asking the big question. Additionally, pick a time and place that will suit both parties.
Don’t worry too much and take the dive if you are interested in someone. First dates can be awkward and horrible but also some of the best experiences. Make sure to make a good impression and let the conversation flow. And even if they turn out horribly or the experience isn’t so great, at least you’ll have a great story to tell your friends later on!
How would you ask your someone out on a first date? What are some of your best first dates? Or maybe your worst first dates? What advice would you give to other students who may be crushing hard but want to take it to the next level? Let us know in the comments below!
This story was produced by Media and Communication students at Trinity College Foundation Studies as part of Meld’s community newsroom collaboration. Education institutions, student clubs/societies and community groups interested in being involved can get in touch with us via firstname.lastname@example.org.